things i've almost gotten fired for:

-not buying the right brand of generic coffee creamer.
-not ironing the lab coats properly or pretreating them with a stain lifter.
-taking two days off for not having a car in drivable condition.
-sass mouthing the VPs.
-dressing like a slob.

things that have seemingly gone unnoticed:
-my friends faxing me gay porn.
-extended lunches.
-purchases on the company card.
-hiding glue traps in the ceiling and hiding in general.

i'm wasting away and not sleeping

thanks, sobriety.