Friday, May 30, 2008


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no online tools/resources were used for this list, only my good ol' noggin. ideally, this will be an ongoing list, so feel free to add to it as you see fit.


Saturday, May 24, 2008

end of the line

probably around december i started to notice a huge decline of brain activity and lack of simple motor skills in the new hires. sketchy mike, for example, was more then likely bi-polar. one minute he'd be bummed out about his pregnant girlfriend and the next he'd have me pinned on the kitchen floor trying to show me the latest wrestling or dance move or something else to cover up his blatant homosexuality. soon after, he quit. one of my favorite mike quotes aside from wanting his girlfriend to get an abortion was telling me that i was "too leisurely" in my work and then proceeded to finish whatever i was doing stating that "jesus hates the slothful." if twenty people are on the books, rather than eighty to one hundred, you would take your time too. either way i'm still getting paid until 11:00pm.

i don't understand it. i wash dishes. it's a pretty sweet gig for $11 an hour and the majority of the time, i'm usually eating, walking around center city, drinking arizona tall cans, occasionally napping, listening to my ipod and lying about a vast amount of my work hours. i'm not looking for scholarly discussion by any means. eddie is probably the only other dishwasher who isn't retarded. he's got a real job doing video production work, so he just comes and goes as he pleases for extra cash. great hustle. he said "somehow this job brings out the absolute worst in people. " which is completely true, some wiener quit a few weeks in less than 60 minutes over a smoking dispute. as for bruce, or as i call sweatpants. he's nice but, he can't be real. he HAS to be a figment of my imagination. today he plans to do ecstasy while at work and if i decide to go in, first i'm going to break a whole bunch of glassware and secondly i'm going to blast danzig. he recently got his friend steve a job. this kid is also cut of out the same cloth. what really bums me out about him, is that he's got his neck tattooed. it's nothing cool either. its his fucking initials and they're really small. fuck, if i got my neck tattooed, it would take up the entire side of my neck. if you get your hands or neck tattooed, you should be hard as nails, but no. steve is a total nancy.

the next post will be all about bruce and mike's views on life, love, and vigilante activities.