lesson learned

3 pounds of bacon (baked) will produce 11 ounces of grease. What remains is 2 pounds 5 ounces of consumable meat.

.together we form an alliance.

things found while cleaning

glow in the dark smiley face candle

loan payment instructions

tweezers

$2.41

half a viagra

letters from mom

Mundae

I hope it burns to the ground

LA is on fire. Have you heard? Looks like a baby mushroom cloud just sitting in the sky.

This might be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

this week I hate

batteries and brake pads. two things designed to do nothing else but fail.

Oh to be a Rockefeller.

i can't use aim

because a husky blind girl wants to be my boyfriend. maybe someday i'll figure it out.

changes to everyday objects

a small hallucinogen added to every tube of chap stick/lib balm/gloss could do many wonderful things. imagine the middle schools inundated with hormonal pre teens tripping in an almost unified bliss. oh to be young again.

not a big fan of my roommate's fat ass girlfriend.

this isn't the continental breakfast at howard johnson's. please stop eating my food.

the trap is set

to take over the world, starting with shark buildings!

theres also sharks in step brothers.

best bff tattoos.

...one day

(bad pic)

...2 days!

shark week in...3 days!

Imagine what you could do with a shark at your disposal.

you know your life sucks when

your dad is a fan of his favorite pornographic actresses on the facebook.

i skipped class today

picture me failin'

this is what its like

when me and eric lived together. minus all the coke.

Hot dogs

I love hot dogs when the smell of burnt matches is in the air. Pasta does not go well with the match odor though, it works better when there's a hint of Pledge in the air. Grape drink compliments both of these scenarios extremely well.

my roommate stomps around

its pretty ridiculous.

stupid

so i bought one of those tree air fresheners for my car and its called "black ice." the name alone is pretty metal. needless to say i was stoked. so i assumed it'd be reminiscent of burning tires or the smell of fireworks. nope, it smells like axe body spray! what a rip, i mean i guess that cool because i've never partied with the cologne crowd.

also college is stupid, i'm back and i already hate it. russian criminals (and generally all successful thieves) are right, working is for idiots. maybe i'm just cranky because i have to wake up entirely too early than i'm used to in the past 5 years. on the plus side, dude in my math class looks like mitch hedberg

double also these matix business pants totally tits. get them here

college version 2.1

just picture me learin'
flossin a benz on rims that isn't stolen

Fiber

oatmeal and raisin bran eaten regularly has drastically improved my bowel movements. fyi

I haven't owned a comb

In over two years, I've been getting by using my fingers and the length adjustment jawn on my trimmer. But my hair is pretty long and unruly, so it might be time to cave. Should I go for a cheap ass black one from the liquor store, or get s fancy thang from target?

Reo Bailey Dennis

Rest In Power.
You were a light and inspiration to us all.
May you find the peace that was so impossible to find.