things i've almost gotten fired for:

-not buying the right brand of generic coffee creamer.
-not ironing the lab coats properly or pretreating them with a stain lifter.
-taking two days off for not having a car in drivable condition.
-sass mouthing the VPs.
-dressing like a slob.

things that have seemingly gone unnoticed:
-my friends faxing me gay porn.
-extended lunches.
-purchases on the company card.
-hiding glue traps in the ceiling and hiding in general.

i'm wasting away and not sleeping

thanks, sobriety.

corey feldman

that is all.

took ya long enough

slow down

i've been racin' all my life

Chief Frying Pan

a glimpse of things to come.

an open letter to my dad and facebook

dad, you're my bff and all but please stop becoming a fan of everyone and everything in the adult film industry. it bums me out you're a fan of peter north, two and a half men, and cheese steaks. Facebook, you should really keep a better eye on this situation.